having chest pains often recently....makes mi feel so bad...together with the cough n shortness of breath i tot i was going to die soon hahas....maybe i have contracted sum kinda weird illness le!!LOLOL

i skip school for e whole of this wk le....really didn wanna go at all....hmmm =( i dun like school....sobs but exams are near i have to start preparing no matter le....haiz

i m sad...i dun feel happy...no matter how good he is treating mi now it kinda seem weird....i've been treating him badly recently...suddenly gettting angry at him for no reason...dunno why myself but i knoe its kinda unfair to him too....i stopped my habit of checking his hp le...but saw a few of his msgs wif sum damn gals....

sum girls are really bitches....it makes mi feel like slapping them st in e face sumtimes....one goes n another cums it is tiring having such things on n off....he say they're juz frens....nth else i cud say isn it....it is so obvious they contacted him coz they're interested in him yet he keeps telling mi tat...i m not blind sumtimes it juz feel so sickkening...i knoe he doesn want it at times coz i alwaz quarrel wif him over this but yet many times he doesn do anything to stop such things....wat disappoint mi evn more was tat he kept their pics too....he say they sent him n he lazy to delete haas up to him to do wat he want le bahz....i have rejected many of my guys' frens requests to go out or evn chat....juz to avoid him getting e wrong impression...maybe i shuldn be bothered to do so anymore le lorz.... recently it seems more n more gals are hooking onto him....evn if he does tall them he;s attached it doesn seem yo make any difference....whenever i m ard watching he will close all e gals' msn windodws or dun rply to their smses...but i dun think it happens when i m not looking le...haaas otherwise they wun keep on looking for him le lorz...

sumtimes when out wif his frens i feel so left out....i m trying hard to get along le....but many a times i m left to walk by myself at e back while i see my bf with his frens laughing n talking infron of mi...it do make mi wanna walk out on them....everytime he is out wif mi n my frens he doesn make any effort to communicate wif them....does he appreciate when i m making effort to get along wif his frens..i dunno..if he doesn den i guess its no pt for mi to go on doing so anyways....

he dun like my sis....he dun like my frens...he said if i were to go out wif my frens or my sis he wun turn up....he doesn knoe how much it hurts to hear such stuffs...it makes mi feel so much like i'm stuck in a sandwich....i love him n i love my sis too....she is e only one who has been throu everythign wif mi....i m really at a loss when he say such stufffs to mi....he simply make mi believe he isn thinking of going far wif mi....

den i guess i shuld kan kai le bahz....be prepared to get abandoned haas