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Friday, February 29, 2008

it ended....we broke up...i have to let go...he doesn love me anymore....still i m in pain....this mth was filled with quarrels...he say it affected him....i guess i will have to grow up from this too.....n i believe i will....grow up aftre this incident....none of my r/s cud last....i shuld reflect....

i will still wish him e best with tat gal if they really get tgt...thou i know if i were to see them tgt it will totally make me break into pieces....for e moment i hate her

i wish so much for time to stop for mi now but i know it wudn....e world still revolves....e sun still shines....time still tick by....people still moves on...but my heart has stopped....i will be happy...in time to come

~ { 13:14 }
marssh

Thursday, February 28, 2008

backk.....from bangkok!!hmmmm it was real fun....having a few gd n close sister spending e time away from all e familiar stuffs...it isn something u get to do so alwaz.....

thai was fun!e ppl are great n friendly...e things are cheap!didn really seem to have bot alot of stuffs but i did spend alot of money....hmmm thinkking abt tat it seems i'm going broke alr...haie but e money's spend worthwhile....

our rm wasn tat big like e hotels in spore....but e 4 of us still manage to squeeze into 1 small rm with 2 of us sharing a single bed...hahas it was comfortable....so sweet....we didn use e other rm bcoz it kinda feel scary in there....e feeling wasn tat comfortable....hahas other den slping tgt we also bathed tgt!awwww my breast is e smallest compared to them so sadded *sniff* hahahas

first time taking flight....i like e take-offs but i dun like landings!it was kinda uncomfortable....felt alittle like vomitting n giddy....hmmm but i realised why spore changi airport is e best among e world....it is organised n clean...at thai we had to take a bus from e plane to e airport...their airport is huge....we spend alot of time checking out from e place....

hmmmm i envy my frens...their bf were so worried abt themm throughout e 4 days.....they will sweet talk so much evry nites unlike mi....he didn seem to care much...this few days our topics seeem to get lesser den bfore....now evn his off days also spend wif his ffrens le....dun go out anymores...=( sum gal msg him saying she misses him....damn it hate this kinda encounters...make mi believe they're evn more den frens....i guess they got evn closer when i was gone for e 4dyas bahz....dun understand how cum ppl can be so bitchy....it seems e term gf n bf is redundant in this case....ppl still do such stuffs make mi feel so insecure....hai

~ { 17:59 }
marssh

Saturday, February 23, 2008

11 more hrs to my flight....i'm feeling vexed....e rain was heavy today so was my heart....

it had been a week since our quarrels started....he said he kan dao wo jiu angry....it pains mi...i've been ignored evn thou i've been at his hm for e past few days..he said he didn feel it tat way but it was obvious throu e way he treated his frens n e way he behaved when he saw mi...i haven seen his smile for e whole wk....nor has he bothered to talk much to mi....smses were short n cold...but it was only to mi....

been crying e whole wk...my heart hurts real lot....when i tried to talk to him again last nite he again flare on mi....i really didn understand...what in e world did i do to deserve e way he is treating mi nows....i dun get it...i was juz upset tat when i really wanted alittle hug n attention from him he didn bother abt mi...yet till this moment all i've gotten was evn much hurting attitudes....

it hurts far more den any words can describe....but i cant say...bcoz i dun want any more quarrels...its hard to pretend e hurt dun exist but i guess its harder to cope if i were to lose him....i miss e days of fun n laughter

~ { 01:15 }
marssh

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


~ { 18:43 }
marssh

sians.....maths test was shit....

guess alot n alot of stuffs had made mi so shag n tired nows.....having alot of tots but i dunno how to pen them down....

i've moved house agains....this time to khatib le...haiez mum went to rent out our hm n we had to move out within 5days!!darn it was real tiring den having to pack my stuffs....i realised i had alot of rubbish kept in my rm....sum of which i dunno whether to keep or to throw away....

vday wasn fun at all...CNY also wasn fun at all....evryting seems so packed in a mth yet i didn look forward to any of these days...i had to spend my vday moving house o.O after tat evryting goes back to test n more tests!!!2 projects on hand only 1 wk to complete it....going thailand this cuming wkend....i'm really tired....

looking back at e previous threads i really seems stoopid dun i...had another quarrel wif him...i realised how difficult it is trying to talk to him....whenever i feel real down n out we will quarrel....sumtimes i knoe it is my fault for saying e wrong stuffs but it seems he isn considerate towards my feelings....a fucked up mood+another quarrel sumtimes it really makes u go into a depression state....

he is not talking to mi nows....i have tried n i guess if really this goes on i dun think i will have e energy to carry on anymores.....his words are hurting yet he still said them...no matter how hurtful it was i cudn have said anything....evryting seems to be my fault alwaz....i dun like it...i m a gal who juz need sum attention yet he isn bothered abt it....he ignored mi e whole day no msges no calls...in e end he juz said i had nth to say to u....i guess it says it all den....

it really seems tat his frens are more impt to him....this time he quarreled wif mi juz bcoz i had wanted alittle of his care n attention....my menstrual cramp was hurting so bad i felt so much like crying yet his back was facing mi all e while n he kept on talking to his frens....his frens came up his hm n i was left alone in e living rm watching e big black box....throughout e whole day all i had wanted was a little hugs n kissses to make mi feel btr yet all i got was a quarrel n more quarrels followed up....he said since i was alwaz staying at his place alittle time he gave to his frens isn too much....it makes mi seem too much asking for alittle of his attention....hah he still doesn understand....

it makes mi seems i m juz another person whose presence is so insignificant....to him...n yet he didn understand wat i was trying to tell him.....evryting i flare up on, to him it is considered unreasonable....maybe i m...

guess if he cont to have nth to say to mi anymores it might really simply end evrything like tat

~ { 16:00 }
marssh