emotional
todays top news.....taiwanese famous actress xu wei lun died at 7.37pm last nite after 43 hrs of fierce struggle wif her life after e car accident....though i'm not a loyal fan of hers but e news of her death did shocked mi alot...didn tot much abt e news when i saw e article yest afternoon but it seems e news struck mi only after her death....

it made mi realise how fragile life really can b...yah many ppl have tot abt this a vry vry long time ago alr but only now did i start to wonder abt e issue of life n death....e life of a young promising gal ended unexpectedly juz coz of an accident....she still had a long way to go....but evryting ended so fast....believe her frens + family will b deeply hit by her death n also all her fans......but e person who will remember this incident 4evr thoroughly will of coz b her assisstant who cause e crash to happen....

alot of 'wat ifs + y' came into my mind.....if death were to fall upon evry1 eventually y do we have to live in e 1st place....if theres no life mayb there'll b no grieves when their loved 1s passed on...yah i knoe life can b fun n joyful at times but i'm a pessimist sooo i'm alwaz reminded of e depressed part instead.....

life is short...enjoy watevr we can while we still can....but in this real world who's actually really able to do so....this world is moving forward at such a fast pace if u were to juz stop n take a breather for a while others will ovrtake u in e race alr lorz...but if u work hard all e while n nvr stop for any rest u'll sure regret in ur old life when u thinkback coz they'll b nth for u to reminisce anymore....evryting contradicts in this life...sians...

thinking back i've lotsa regrets in this life....regretted not paying attention on my studies esp during e most crucial exams....did badly for my o'lvls n i believe this time rd it'll b evn worse for my a'lvls alr....believe i'll have to retake it at e end of e yr again n this time it'll really b my only 1 last chance....heard tat i'll getting back e results at e end of feb...i hope i wun cry too badly....shuldn have made tat choice of starting tat relationship....but thanx to him i realise guys can b of such terrible char....

yep no pt bringing up e past anyway....i'm glad i've great frens ard mi.....no matter whether they're close to mi or juz sum 'hi-bye' frens i wanna say thanx for being in my life n i'm glad to have known u guys....hope e circle will widen n i'll b able to get to knoe more great ppl ard e world.....sum frens have left n we've evn bcum strangers now....hope i'll b able to get back these frens n cont on from where we ended....

hmmm long post....feeling vry emotional now...dunno wat else to say alr....need sum hugs...need sum ears...need e sea...need e breeze....need e quiet atmosphere....to allow myself to think more n grow up more....

recap
came hm from work...mentally tired...tranfered out from my previous workplace had to do audit today...worked my brains out...didn have much time for rest finally understood how joan felt alr...pressurising+alot of stress due to so many eyes @@ at u...luv my previous posted area can slack so much...now wanna slp also canot...so many eyes staring at my back make my hair all stand up....eeeekk

yest went down bugis again...dunno whether to say i'm lucky or suay....found evn more old issues of mags lahz summore can browse for free...think i'm gonna get sick from all e viewing of microfilms alr...scroll till my headache came back again....but for them i'll cont to strive on...LoL after tat accidentally found an album wif mlb e song in it!wah so damn happy lahz...

but arhs when i think of my adidas tokyo jacket i feel damn fucked up....y...its juz sooo nice n i really wan it sooo badly but its not selling anymore....ebay on sale but only have xl size...i'm sad i'm sad....i'm sad.......

after tat went to hc house to bake new yr cookies....hmmm didn do much there will b going back again to help out...hope will b able to learn e choc cookie...tastes so nice....thinking of wat prsents to give during vday....

happy mi!!!
today was e lucky day for mi....went out pat tor wif joan...LOL she bought her yamapi e mag at kino hahas....vry happy horz keke i also not bad arhs....i finally found my old mags at bras basah!!hmmm i'm now in luv wif tat place le....finally after long look ovr high mountains n deep oceans i found it!!found sum of e newspapers too!!!wanna comment on e librarians for their kind guidance n their patience...otherwise till now i still wudn knoe how to use e microfilm...yah yah i stoopid lahz wan laugh den laugh bahz LOL.....yeahh going back tmlo to look for it again pray hard for mi i wun fail my project......=DD

thanx alot arhs joan....u're e best muacks....pei mi search through hundreds of mags to find my articles...in e end needa carry 2 big bag all e way hm...sorry arhs made u have to flip pg by pg wif mi den evn e uncle also du lan wif us den diao us liao lorz....hmmm bras basah there really got alot of stuffs to 'shop' lorz....will b going down again sum day see whether can get anything for my guit anot.....need a new tuner +new strings+new plucker+dunno wat else le worz.....oh yah needa get vday present for all my galfrens liao le....keke dun worry wun forget u e ck LOL....

went to eat e NON-FAT icecream wif joan....wah heavenly sia....luckily its NON-FAT otherwise sure cham e lahz....e dark choc +belgium choc flavour sure song until.....nth to say....tmlo possible we go try other flavours ok...saw sum1 buying e family pack...wah laow scare mi to death sia...dunno can eat for how many days lahz....siao lorz eat until sure diarrhoea lahz....

went to ht's bday bbq in e nite....didn ate much only a few pieces of bread n 1 pathetic cw....only gastric pain like hell....sians sia...but at least got to seee sum frens n gather again...feel vry shuang...but wheres tat cy??wah all events we have u also no turn up e eh...u knoe how long its been since we last saw u anot....contact us can mahz....

took sum pics wif my hp...omg e resolution suck like hell lahz...beginning to xian qi e hp le lahz now tat i've got my cam...haiez cam now not wif mi i feel kinda lost le....wanted to take down e memorable day actually e...sians sia....nvm still got nxt time...=)

took cab hm...sians lorz how come spore bus service not 24hrs sia....only left wif cab service after 12am....diff to travel ard spore lorz e govt still wanna promote nite life....LOL luckily got hm bfore e rain started otherwise now bcum wet pig liao lorz.....hmmm tired....tmlo gonna cont my project...gd nites evrybody tnite sure's a cosy nite wif e rain cooling e temp.....=))
bday gal





vry cutes rite...ice-kachang stall in e middle of orchard rd...=D

yeah now can finally post pics le...thanx peg...LOL but i still lazy to post pics......wahhhahha.....

haiez.....tmlo finally no need go work le...sun motorola shut down dun need go also sians....1 day pay gone agains.....

got info from e blog nic is sick....fever+sprain his muscle near e ribcage....tats wat weiqi say lahz.....sobss so heartpain sia.....0_0 hmmm missing nic alot seh......missing mlb le....hope nth will obstruct mi from going to their events during feb....i wanna see nic...i wanna see nic!!!aaaaaaarrrhhhhh dunno y i seem to b getting cranky this few days le...shuld b not enuf slp bahz now orbakat worse liao....0_0

haiez jolin concert in april....feel like going watch eh...sure will b damn explosive n happening lorz....haiez who to look for lehz....sians....whens jay going to come spore....i wan concert!!aarrrggghh.....

i need lots of alcohol now to drown myself....feel like drinking sia....feel like getting drunk today....no mood....aarrrhhh depression setting in again....

DXO meeting...
oooo now brain feeling lost n empty.....gonna slp soon after blogging le...its been 2 days since i've slpt alr....hahas like wat sw said super horz kekeke jkjk....=p dunno wat e hell happen sia...tried slping 2days ago but lay on bed for e whole nite n no matter how hard i try juz cant bring myself to convince myself to go to slp!!n so juz lay on bed till its time to go to work......sians....

after work on tat day had to rush back hm to prepare for my gals outing....kekeke went wif e 4of them to dxo...ladies nite!!sorry gals i was late arh...(cudn find my eyeliner n blusher den wasted time looking for it)....planned to stay till 11plus den leave to catch e last train lorz....but.....plan changed....stayy there drink + gals talk + photo taking session + gossipings at e club bfore going ovr to esplanade to cont our photo session...wahahah giggling like siao lahz think we spoilt e romantic atmosphere for e couples present there lorz hahs....

after we're done wif it jas went hm le.....bf soo sweet come n fetch u lorz....kekek den see u all leave tgt hand in hand summore eh!!!look evn moooreeee en ai lorz....LOL after u guys left e 4 of us also went back to dxo n went to e dance floor....kekek yep i knoe i cant dance.....but juz too high alr lahz....1st time went clubbing wif u gals eh of coz feeling vry happy lorz.....=p after tat went back 2nd lvl = more drinks + more gals talk + more photos lorz....oh yah!sw n mi saw sumting soooo disgusting i really felt ashamed for e couple lorz....mayb for many of u it might seem normal lahz coz clubs wat....indecent places mahz....but arh for them to b trying to make out in e middle of a public place i feel soo disgusted by it lahz....thanx for giving us e free show worz....i was soo fascinated by it...luckily no clothes was stripped off worz...but i believe they were soo embarassed when they saw our shocked looks....

stayed till 1plus den went to sum 'hong kong cafe' for supper hmmm its considered my breakfast lahz coz working st after e partying hahas....hmmm food there quite ex worz n tasted normal....LOL

after tat had to walk back to esplande to catch nite rider coz i needa rush hm prepare for work....den saw accident....didn witness it lahz but saw how badly e scene was....OMG hope e person is fine now lahz....it was scary sia...cant imagine how he manage to create such a crash....seems like he crashed into sum road barrier...those thing tat moves at those carparks e....den after tat u turn back lahz!!!den crash into traffic light n lastly up e pavement n into a tree i think....juz in fron of dxo!!he muz b real drunk to make it happen like tat...evn after e crash e rubber smell was soooo strong lorz....cudn stand it when we walked past e car n e scene....nearly vomitted out my porridge lorz....yep got a gd close up view of e car plate no but wun b telling u all.....lalalal

while our attention were still on e accident our bus said bb to us st in fron of our face lahz....called out to e uncle to wait but he drove off anyway.....dots sia...waited for sooo damn long lahz...i had to run hm all e way in my heels to prepare myself for work....had to catch e company bus or else have to take cab lorz....rushed through evryting in 20mins n off running again to catch bus....luckily e uncle waited for mi this time round...thanx god for it....

back to work....today damn bz day lahz den summore cudn concentrate at certain moments....gp leader evn came at 1 moment stand there watch mi do my stuffs lahz....scare e shit outta my pants lorz....really went off into my own world while checking e hps...luckily there r aunties there to scare mi back to reality....wahahha....tried typing sumting into e com but arh coz of my weak attention den my mind cudn ctrl my hand n all lorz eyelids keep drooping n my brain told mi to go to slp den again telling mi to stay awake aaarrrggghhh!!!....den didn knoe wat i did to e com den felt soo paiseh when e auntie ask 'qa mei mei arh wat u doing!' hahas.....jocked back to my sense lol....drank abt 4 or 5 cups of coffee but e effect seems to wear off in less den an hr....sooo its plain useless.....but arh it seems tat no matter how tired i was....e moment i see ck n joan during breaktime arh most of my energy cum back le lorz....esp after work...dun feel e tiredness at all alr.....wahahah.....dinner was fun....oh yah n i sort of lost part of my voice today....hahas praying hard i'll b able to experience e feeling of it tmlo again...its sooo fun lorz though my new voice was vry er xin hahas....if later when we meet i still have this sexy voice i sing for u all kk....wahahahas....=)

whooots going take a nice nice warm warm shower den going to jump onto my bed n slp le.....gd nites!kekekes

complaints.....
phew.....finally finish ironing my wholeee cupboard of clothings.....wah took almost half a day to do it...sians sia feel like discarding all of them n replenish my cupboard wif new blouses n bottoms....oooomg needa go shopping alr.....but but wheres e $$$....now can only @@ at those clothes n wishh sooo much they were mine......=O who wanna goo shopping eh??call mi eh call mi.....we go find those cheap cheap n nice nice e clothing in spore kk....

going to need lotsa cleaning up worz....my rm is juz soooo damn messy....who wanna help mi eh!!hahas i'll welcum all who wanna cum my house during this period worz....but arh those cuming arh muz clean up my rm for mi....wahahahah.....lame i knoe...

new yr's cuming....this yr believe e ang bao will b much much lesser....sum family stuffs stoopid ppl have stoopid thinking....dun b fooled by others e age....sum of them r juz plain childish n plain cunning n plain evil......beilieve this yr if i dun go back all my $$$ will b taken by them again....haiez but wat to do....all e gossips by them...now mi n my sis sure will not b welcumed there anymore....haiez wat to do....bron into tat kinda family who treat outsiders btr den their own family....pui!! hate my life....sooo fake e ppl also have...haiez....wondering whether we'll still b able to get back our $$$ not if not wo bu gan xin!!hmmph....hardsaved $$$ y shuld it fall into their handsn let them b able to enjoy it on their slimming n facial programss i dun understand....wif those $$$ i'll still b able to do alot of other stuffs lahz....

yah i'm vry ji chou e okok....esp wif ppl like them....hmmmph!!sians sia......now yue xiang yue angry....haiez....life really sucks....tmlo going start work le....evn more sians arh.....hope wun get scolding sia....pray for work peace tmlo....

16.01.07
met up wif linghui n suwen today....went to slack ard in town....walked through far east den went chit-chat at coffee bean den went watsons shopping for gals stuffs...haiez it seems like a long time le worz...hmmm got 1 mth or so nvr see u guys le...though there's only e 3 of us but i'm really sooo happy today enjoyed myself wif those zi lian moments taking sooo much pics kekeke....hope e rest will b able to turn up nxt time rd worz...=)

u guys r sooo happily in luv eh envy u all sooo muchie....hahas but my single life's still not tat bad at all...at least i get more freedom n dun needa report to anybody horz hahas but arh see u guys sooo xing fu also happy for u all lahz....gals hold on to ur happiness tightly n dun lose them kk...ur luvs seems to b great guys n wish u all all e best....quarrels n commotions may b inevitable but dun let those moments hurt ur relationship worz....e 'heart-to-heart' talk was great...at least i knoe wats going on ard u guys hahas...hahas sw!our talk may revolve ard relationships n facial stuffs but it lasted us for e whole day worz n it seems we're not quite done wif it worz hahas...cont on fri when we meet up again arhs....LOL

hope e few activities we've planned will not b cancelled worz....i really needa slim down n makeovr!!esp since new yr cuming le....cant look so fat n ugly le lahz....
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nowadays i seems to b thinking more...my whole life seems to b ruined....i seems to have achieved nth great...haiez it's impossible to turn back e clock n live my life again...juz hope e yrs ahead will b fruitful n i'll not b wasting my youth anymore...soon i'll b leaving my teenage stage n move on to bcum a complete adult...will miss those schooling days when life was free from all kinda worries except for studies...it seems e older u get e responsibilities really bcum much greater...more worries comes by...n also e ppl ard u gets more complicated....of coz..life is not a bed of roses but sumtimes i often wonder...wat r we here for?juz to withstand n ovrcome e numerous obstacles tat come across our life?it seems too much for mi to handle....if evryting wud result in heartbreaks n if my unhappiness>happy moments i really wud not wanna come here to experience all these....

if it hadn been for e few frens tat came across my path may my life wud have been evn worse off....thanx for cont to stay as my fren....yep i knoe i may not have e greatest person u all have met n sumtimes i've made u all disagree wif my actions n all....hmmm sorry to all if i've made u all hate mi at moments....trying to understand myself nows n trying to bcum a btr person(hope i'll really achieve it lahz)...hope u guys will not get outta my life n leave mi alone worz....dun wish to lose any frens as yet....hahas seems like ebtry is getting real emo le...needa stop otherwise gonna cry thinking of e past again....

seems to b falling sick again...cant concentrate properly now...evryting seems so giddy whole body sooo uncomfortable...feel like vomitting...feel like fainting....chest feel sooo constricted....head feels so pain n heavy...dunno wats seems to b e prob...oh no...feeling vry terrible now....=(

oh oh my beautiful hair.....

joan!!

nic's enlistment-11.01.07
tmlo 11.01.07 le....nic's going tekong tmlo le...sooo sad...reporting at 8am sia....too bad i cudn go down needa work....haiez i bet i'll b lacking emotions tmlo....mayb might evn have e 'dun come near mi' face...hahas hope those working wif mi dun mind mi too much arhs...i juz feeling a bit depressed...tomato's also reporting for army tmlo le...i seem to have gotten ovr him le eh...but sumtimes e feelings wud sud come back on its own...wtf is this...hate it sia...wats happening to my life???!!!haiez

i think this entry's gonna b damn sucky....dunno wats e matter wif mi...been thinking thorugh alot of stuffs but dunno wat e hell i worrying abt too....depression falling ovr mi again...siansss if only i'm able to ctrl ovr my stoopid emotions...feel like banging my head on e wall hahas jkjk....vry tired...from having all kinda emotions running thorugh mi....it seems i cant b alone by myself...will satrt to hu si luan xiang....pray hard tmlo will b a btr day though i doubt it will b...

mlb finally moved blog le...but will kinda miss e superband e blog...all e memories of staying up late to read through all e tags n entries...but i seem weird adding tags yet...seems like dun quite knoe e ppl den feeling a bit 'outcast' hahas...

oops seems to have diverted from main topic...yah nic enlistment....now botak sure will look diff..but arh he go army means album realesed date might b pushed backwards again...haiez been waiting long alr sian liao lorz...it'll sure take vry long to see e 3milos again...s0bzzz....hope nic will take care yah...same to tomato too...yah i knoe they wun b able to see this but all e best to them lahz....i'm missing nic alr....='( believe i'll have a hard time slping tnite...tmlo gonna die at work again...hope time will pass by quickly tmlo or else i'm sure gonna cry at work le...sob sobzzz...

mlb 3rd gathering(07/01/07)....
juz got hm from work...haiez soo tired from standing whole day at work....oopps....now not here to blog abt work kekeke....today wanna 'recap' abt e mlb gathering!!=)

woke up damn early to prepare weiqi's bday present...haiez had to rush evryting coz not enuf time!!in e end e present was kinda ruined...hahas have to say sorry to weiqi arhs dirtied e paper bag...hope weiqi like e preseny for him sia...realised he wore e same cap during e gathering as e 1 i gave him!!!omg...=s took cab down to east coast so ex sia......but luckily reached e place bfore mlb did....

haiez but when they arrived i had to go look for fren den missed out weiqi's bday celebration....sad sad...='( didn get to taste n evn see e cake!

but luckily eileen came bfore e games otherwise she wud also missed out playing wif mlb...kekeke was in sam's gp n we won!!=p sam was sooo 'hao lian' sia....went to 'broadcast' his winnings to evry1 hahas...but i was abit disappointed tat i wasn in nic's gp...he's e 1 i luuvvv sooo much lahz....keke didn manage to ans e qns correctly worz...sooo i knew soo little abt them lorz sian sia....need to go find out more le...wah kaow eh nic has 7 guitars eh!!!!!!i only have 1 pathetic guit lorz...n its kept at a corner sia...needa go learn how to use it soon le....

but i think most wud enjoy e photos n autograph session bahz...hahas i got all of their signatures yeah...n got to take pics wif them too...but e 1 i took wif nic wasn tat well taken....sads....wanna take again but he was crowded by sooo many gals lahz....den no chance sia...got e tee today...

haiez wanna say sorry to mlb lorz....made them late for their recordings.....but i think evrybody was juz too excited abt meeting them bahz....hope they hadn got any scoldings worz....=o

lastly wanna thank e committee for organising e event....if not for them....i believe we wudn have such an enjoyable day wif e 3 milos....now will have to wait patiently for their nxt gathering le....nic's going army on thurs le guess have to wait quite sum time for e nxt gathering alr....hahas wanna c how he looks like when he's botak!kekkeke...believe he'd b soooo kawaiiii....=D

album's releaseing date have been pushed back....sooo sad sia..kept being delayed so bad lahz...kena cheated e feeling...after tat wud b a.s!!hahas...

wanna say hihis to peg n eileen n muiling n also yinteen!!!nice knowing u guys n also had a great chat wif u all....=D hope nxt time will get to knoe evn more mlbians too...kekeke u guys dun mind we can meet up sum days to go out tgt to play worz!hhehes...

hope nic will take cares of himself in camp n bcum more fitter!he's juz too skinny le see liao will heartpain sia...sam ord le...now sooo free sia...alll e best to his singing career too...hope he'll learn to bcum an evn btr singer n mesmerize us wif his singing...kekeke....n not forgetting weiqi!start sch alr worz....all e best to his studies le...hope he wun b too stressed out by all his work load....n hope mlb will b cont to produce 'pattern duo duo' e music for us....yeah...gonna miss them during this period....it'll surely b vry vry quiet n boring if there's no news from them....

hahas seems like a vry long entry sia....kekeke gonna end here le...needa slp alr tmlo needa wake up at 4.50am!siansss working 12hrs sia....=(

vivo countdown
hey hey....a brand new yr has arrived!!hope this yr will not b so sucky liike 2006....

31stdec2006 went to vivo for e countdown party....OMGoosh....had so much fun there...of coz its bcoz mlb was performing wat...hahas ushering a new yr wif e luv of my life(mlb) juz make mi feel so high!unable to use words to describe my feelings at e moment...

their performance was of coz high lahz(for mi tatz wat i feel lahz coz i luv them soo muchie so evryting abt them will b sooo perfect) n nic was soooo cute during e finale...running here n there playing wif e big big balls omg he look soo much like a small boi boi....sooo mesmerizing worz....

hahas but arh wat made mi disappointed was they only sang 1 song!dun understand how come eh?at e start of e show those spore-made bands were singing more den 3 songs eh...how come superband e champion only sang 1 song??aiyah nvm lorz hope there'll b lots of chances again in future to catch their performances again...

hmmm saw alot of other artistes, pss were also there too...took lotsa pics of them n also got a touch of taufiq's hand!...hahas but my stoopid cam not guai lorz...finale tat time no batt!!wanted take down nic playing e but haiez.....

got to see e mlbians today...hahas i'm sooo happy to knoe u all!but today no have chance to talk much wif u guys vry ke xi...hope during gathering can get to chat wif u all worz....but today got eileen pei wo go crazy at vivo hahas we 2 got lost looking for bk sia den at countdown scream till throat now sore alr n stand till legs r breaking...but it was all worthwhile juz to catch mlb!!hahas

hmmm wat else to say eh?..feeling sooo lost wen i got back hm...mind only got mlb now...feeling soo shag n energy drained off sia tmlo going down help my sis open stall....haiez shall go have a gd bath n go meet e 3 milos in my dreams again...sweet dreams to mi...=)