i'm sad vry vry sad....i shuld b happy e if he had not asked for a breakup...i finally quitted tat sucky job last nite n i had so much wanted to tell him abt it...to mi it is a gd news coz dun needa see ppl i dun like n i'll have more time for him le....summore dun need to keep giving guys my no which i really really find it irritating when unknown ppl started msging mi n asking abt my personal life....i didn want him to misunderstand mi e tats y i had really wanted to get outta job e coz of him....pay is sucky yep n boss is sucky but main reason is coz of him...

i had initially tot evryting will b find le....tot we cud start afresh as a happy couple...but evryting's gone wrong again n i believe this time rd theres no chance for us to reconcile anymore.....i totally miss him like hell...so much such that i myself dunno wat to do...hahas ridiculous rites...

evryting was fine e i dun understand y in a matter of 1 or 2 days things can change so fast....i promised myself not to b sad if it does happens again but i failed...to tell e truth i loved him more den i did now compared to when we juz started.....

he confessed e other time of his past r/s le though i was really upset that he actually lied to mi in e 1st place but i had totally forgiven him n juz like wat he said i also hope we can go on happily like other ppl...but when i was ready to commit he ended my hope n happiness....all in juz 1 msg.....

last nite after work i had initially wanted to go down to his house hahas but i didn coz i still haven recover from my hangover n had more drinks that nite....didn want him to had to wake up n see mi in such a pathetic state....mayb if i had gone over evryting wud have been diff....evry sun also no work e i had wanted to go down his workplace pei him fang gong den after tat spend sum time tgt....juz his presence can really make mi feel so xing fu but now hahas....

cudn get to slp last nite had woke up real early hopping all was juz a bad nitemare n i'll make up from this stoopid dream....but he seems determined to break up this time le....mayb i had done sumting wrong?mayb he is feeling that i'm not serious abt us coz i'm alwaz msging other guys??he say he still love his ex....but it seems like an excuse to mi....i truly didn wanna believe that...y cant i b e gal in his heart anymore....our love span can really last till now mahz??

he said bfore wat happened in e past was alr past le wat matters now is e future we have....i had really wanted this future e....i totally didn mind any mistake he did in e past anymore alr....but y...this time rd i still hadn had e chance to say i dun want it to end like this....i really really dun want.....to him it may b juz another fling bahz but to mi i'm serious.....darly was e 1st guy who made mi really love him alot n u're e 2nd guy....though i've had past r/s bfore n all lasts longer much much longer den this i didn really feel e way i did now....i knoe holding onto sum1 who doesn feel anything more for mi is useless but i can only hope....n wish tat 1 day u'll actually feel how much i practically loves u...it all seems to b big talk but i dun think my heart will ly...after daryl my heart hadn felt that kinda pang anymore until yest.....

whole day cudn eat anything cudn get back to slp nor cud i get my energy n mood back to do anything.....no i didn went to drink i'm sober now n i didn cry e whole day but tears still fall down by itself evry now n den for nth....i felt vry painful n numb other den that i really cudn feel anything else le....stayed at hm in e morn start thinking nonsense talk nonsense also made mi feel stoopid....thats y i got out hoping that fresh air will help mi....but it didn....evrywhere was couples holding hands n so sweetly in love wif 1 another....made mi think back evn more...though only a short 1 mth but e memories r real sweet n pain cums haunting mi again...

i m real lost now...confused of wat i shuld do now....how shuld i cont now....i quitted e job=evn have e time to think abt him at nites....haiez i'll b fine....soon...