hmmm yest nie typed out 1 super long extry wanna publish post stoopid blogger say error occur den have to retype evryting now....sians...
22nd may:
finally received my pay le....but have to wait till fri or sat den can cash in e cheque....haiez hope i will b able to get e money n e cheque wudn bounce.....after settling e 'payments' maomao they all came up clear balance den i joined them in drinking....initially they wanted to go off after clearing their balance e but den my stoopid sis went back to help them work again den we all stayed awhile to pei her....anyways i was waiting for sum1 to meet up after tat so ok lorz stay for awhile since i have no other place to go alr....opened another bottle of chivas i think e liquor is fake e cant taste e alcohol at all....shit
i drank quite alot too until i started to vomit le...but i wasn drunk n i was feeling bad tat i didn get drunk.....it i had gotten drunk i wudn b feeling e pain anymores....at least b free from it for awhile....1st time went up there as a customer...in e past alwaz i serving other ppl but tat day i got to sing n drink w/o having to work....hmmm but e bosses attitude towards us changed 360 degrees mayb coz they wanted us to go back to work....in e past when we complain no more mixers left they wud ask us go buy n den we have to carry all e heavy heavy stuffs but tat nite when my sis said tat he offered to go buy it sia....hahahs so fake...
he finally msg him he reached hm at abt 2plus den i st went ovr his place le....yahs i knoe i shuldn b doing so but i really missed him too much i cudn control it myself....really felt like seeing him so badly...we were supposed to b watching show e but in e end went to slp coz too late le bahz....
he was slping so soundly but i didn dare to slp much....coz i was so afraid to fall aslp n missed e chance to look at him so closely for e last time....hhas vry drama rites...juz lay bside him n watch him slp den until wo ye bu zhi bu jue slp le....he simply looks so cute hahas n he was still e sweet guy i've known him to b....he gave mi him blanket n helped mi to cover up....hahas mayb to him it was juz a kind gesture but to mi it means alots....at tat moment my heart flinched for a few times....coz i wanted him so badly but he's nvr gonna cum back anymore....i felt guilty too making him feel cold in e middle of e nite coz i took e blanket....hahas
i guess e feeling was quite excruciating den yet my heart still managed to smile alittle....i really thank god for giving mi this 1 last chance to spend e nite wif him but still my heart felt terrible for i knoe this is nvr gonna happen again....n e person lying nxt to mi den is a fren not my guy anymore....i wanted to simply hold him tight n nvr let go but i knoe its impossible....soon he'll belong to sum1 else n i'll have to give him my blessings bahz....hahas
23rd may:
after we woke up we spend e whole afternoon watching <<转角遇到爱>>...shud i say i totally enjoyed evry moment i was wif him....didn manage to finish e whole show n i guess i'll have to watch e ending myself alr bahz....hahas..........e song is simply so nice.....after tat he pei mi go eat dinner den i went off myself le.....
didn wanna go back hm....so went to tpy nearby e park to slack....haiez e nite was really beautiful....but it wasn complete w/o him ard....i guess it's hard to let it go bahz evn though i trul wanted to do so badly coz i didn wanna keep thinking of him like this it hurts too much alr....started to really think alot of e past again....hahas it was really diff having to pretend to b frens when i still long for him so much.....but i still had to contain myself den.....smiling was diff enuf le there was a few times i really felt so much like crying out loud but i knoe i cant....at least i did myself proud for not crying infron of him....hahas
sat down do nth n stare into e pond for dunno how long i think more den 2hrs bahz....e nite was cold real cold but i felt evn colder.....by den i really cried....i guess it was still bearable for mi in e morns bahz when i have stuffs to do or ppl to hang out wif....but when it cums to e nite my mind will auto start to feel despair n tears will flow by themselves....it isn wat i had wanted but i cun control myself at all....yahs now i'm really afraid of being alone in e dark alr.....
2nd time wo really miss a person till so jialat.....mayb i'll b able to find a btr person....of coz but still i guess e feeling might not b e same bahz....mayb like wat uncle jackson said....sum ppl simply dun have e love luck....whenevr they truly loves sum1 they wudn b able to last with them.....i guess i belongs to this cat bahz...i've tot i'm really so fortunate this time rd e guy loves mi n i truly loves him too but i guess it was simply another joke played on mi again bahz....hahas may i'm destined to stay wif a guy whom i dun really love at all....mayb....yahs dun worry he's still my fren....i'll cont to treat him so....at least in fron of him....dun worry no matter how much i love him i wudn show it out so often anymore....life still has to go on i understand....this time rd no matter how many hands r held out to pick mi up i guess i'll still have to stand up on my own.....hahas though i still have hopes for him back but i'll still treat myself well e....=) n dun scold mi for it'll only make mi hate u at this moment of time....
